I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
