Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
