Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Randomize
