Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
