so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
