ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Blood and glitter go together right?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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