Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
