Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
