I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
