hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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