It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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