wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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