Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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