So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
