Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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