please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
