Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
