My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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