Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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