i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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