Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
