covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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