Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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