Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
