you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
