This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
