PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
