Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just blew my weed a kiss
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
