Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
