i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
