OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
