I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
where am i from again
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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