wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
