You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
you never un-have a 4some
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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