Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
