I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
