i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just made out with a guy for $7.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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