i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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