You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
