Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
