i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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