I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
