I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
