She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
