apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
