you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
