just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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