I want to have your abortion
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
