Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
