he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
