you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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